Redheads...

Are Hot.
Just saying.

Example #1


Example #2


Example #3


Example #4


Example #5


Five examples are probably good enough, right?

Anywho.
I fail at being a natural "redhead".
I have straight auburn hair.
Very pretty and appears more coppery red in the summer if I am allowed outdoors for any period of time.
I am currently growing my hair out again (I go in phases) and have decided to attempt to have it permed.

Not like a poodle perm and I do not want to end up looking like a young Shirley Temple but for once I would like to have curly hair, just so I can say that I have done so.

Normal...?

I wonder how normal it is to buy a birthday present for your ex-spouse.

Well I did, mainly because I had a hard time not doing something for him.

I found a box set of Quentin Tarantino movies and I know how much he enjoys them.

It actually made me sad trying to find a gift because it just reminded me that even after being married for 4 years, I did not really know him very well.

hmm...

If wishes were fishes...

I would have a whole fucking aquarium with sharks and shit.





My current fishy fantasy:

I wish I could just learn my new profession hands on and not waste so much time and money on going to school and taking a bunch of classes that have nothing to do with my future job.

And there you have my bitchy complaint for the night.

Sweet dreams!

Math makes me angry...

Yes, I did actually make a similar face a little while ago when a particular math problem was pissing me off.



I wanted to pick up my laptop and throw it across the room....

Probably would have been a nasty sight.

But that is over now.

I can go to the bar and make myself a drink.
 

Yup...

Anna Karenina...

Just finished watching Anna Karenina with my parents.
I liked the movie overall, they thought it was strange.

I love Keira Knightley, she is one of my favorite British actresses.
I really like her period piece movies that she is so good at.

Anywho.
Off to bed for me.

I love... I love... I love you, Mr. Darcy. <3 

When it snows...

All I want to do is drink coffee and watch it pile up (the car wrecks, that is).

It is soooo much fun coming to a new town where the locals have no freaking idea how to drive in any kind of weather.

Going to have to leave early so I can hopefully get to class on time.
Fun.

Yes. I would freak out over this...

I do not like spiders.

Braces...

Yup just made my appointment to see the orthodontist about getting braces.

It will be interesting because with braces people will definitely think I am still in high school.
For the past 6 years I have been confused for a teenager.
People love to tell me that I will appreciate it when I am much older but I can't help but cringe at how people will perceive me once I have a mouth full of metal.

Oh well, I should come out with some fun stories from this and eventually nice straight teeth.



Super Sexy, right?

Not sure if this is Photoshopped...

... and too scared of Russians to ask....



Never fuck with a Russian.
They will mess you up in ways that make Hitler look like a fluffy puppy.

Make up Ideas...

I had a fun photo shoot with a friend back in Dallas and she let me do her make up.
If I started to do my own make up like this then maybe I will get some attention from the guys out there...
Maybe?

That was such a fun day.
I love putting fun makeup on people (yes, guys too but I can't seem to find any guys that are actually willing) and then posing them around.

Nice chick.

Oh I get it now...

Guys are not hitting on me because I don't wear two tons of makeup.



Well... we must remedy this I suppose.....

And now for something completely different...

Been a bit off...

The past handful of days I have felt off.
I have my blue moments just like most people.
For some reason I have had a few more shades of blue in the last few days.
Logically, I want to believe that it is just depression over the fact that this was the first Valentine's day since my divorce.
I don't like to think that I am that weak.
I hate myself when I am weak.
I hate my illness for making me physically weak and I fight it by going to the gym and trying to rebuild the muscle that has atrophied.
I hate it when my hands start trembling for no apparent reason.

I hate feeling/being weak.

I hate feeling like a failure.

So true most days...

Bond... James Bond...

Just finished watching Skyfall with the parents.
Not bad, the bad guy was a bit cheesy but that just reminded me of the older Bond movies with their cheesy bad guys and loose women.
I absolutely adore Judi Dench.
One of my all time favorite actresses.

Well, I succeeded in getting 2 of the 4 math assignments done.
Not quite what I had planned for today, damn that internet for distracting me.
Tomorrow I have to get through at least one (hopefully two) chapters of microbiology. I need to have read 3 chapters before Tuesday.
Sunday will be psychology day, luckily I don't have to read the entire chapter but I will attempt to that way I can stay ahead of the curve.

I must admit I am a bit disappointed that I have not heard anything from my ex concerning the flowers I sent to his mom and sister for Valentine's day. I know they arrived because the florist sent me an email.
Then again, his step-dad or brother could have just taken the card off and said it was their gift instead of mine.

I guess I shouldn't get too bent out of shape about it.
I did divorce him and since we did not have any children there really isn't any particular reason why I should stay in touch with his family or visa verse.

This is the first year being divorced so it makes sense that all of this is going to be difficult to manage.

I think I better go to bed and try to get some sleep.
Tomorrow is a new day and all that jazz.

Homework and Coffee...

Always a good mix.

I procrastinated for a little while before starting on my math homework: vacuumed, made coffee, rearranged my study area, etc.
That is the problem I run into when I sleep in later than I normally do during the week and then I don't usually get as much done, but damn a girl needs to get some sleep every now and then.

Crap. Then I get distracted by Monty Python.
I love Monty Python and British humor.
Crap. A Bit of Fry and Laurie is my next bit of distraction.

Yup just wasted nearly all of the day on the internet.
Damn.

Booze...

I don't really drink all that much so when I am at home making something it usually ends up being an experiment.

This is my Valentine's Day "I want to get buzzed but don't want to go to a bar by myself" drink.

I like how it made pretty colors.
It's not bad but if I gave it to real drunk they would probably say it was too sweet or too weak.
Oh well, I am a light weight so if this does the trick then I will be a happy girl tonight.

In an attempt to join a club at school and maybe make some friends, I went to the Sew Savvy club meeting.
My nutrition teacher had mentioned it on the first day of class and since I sew/quilt I figured I would give it a shot.

I was the only person besides my teacher to show up.
I did make some heart shaped hand warmers out of felt and rice, though.
It felt good to get back behind a sewing machine, I have not sewn anything since October when I made a quilt for my friend's wedding present.
It was a beautiful quilt... I did not want to give it away by the time I was finished with it but I felt that it was meant for her and her new husband.

At least my experimental drinks don't go this far... though that would be pretty cool.

Sometimes I can relate...

Those days when you go out into the world thinking you pretty good that day.
Then you go to the store and are surrounded by people who (in your oppinion) look so much better than you.

I have those days when the thought runs through my head, "that person is not attractive at all and yet they have a significant other that loves them for who they are, what the hell am I doing wrong to still be single?"

Then I get over it.

Makes me miss my pitt...

Really...

This is how I feel whenever someone mentions wishing they had my illness (Gastroparesis) so that they could lose some weight.
Mainly because having this illness is no cake walk and there are days when I wish I could rip out my insides to make them stop hurting.

 



Courtesy of DailyHaHa.com

Uploading CDs...

Takes forever.

So I had to stop in at Target after class today to buy a new toothbrush and hairspray.
Ended up leaving with what I went in for PLUS coffee for the Keurig and two coffee mugs.
What can I say?
I'm a sucker for coffee mugs.

Oh and the coffee... I got some Gevalia Kaffe because I always remember my ex-husband telling me that that was the only coffee he would drink because his boss imported it in from Europe somewhere. The box says it is from Sweden but I don't think that was where she supposedly imported it from. I could be wrong though.

Dinner was super yummy.
Just sayin'.

This is my friend, Kate. She is awesome.

After exam exhaustion...

So sleepy.
I had nearly two hours between my first exam (psychology) and the last exam (nutrition) and I was filled with nervous energy.
I just wanted to take the tests and get them over with.
I did read several pages of 1984 while I waited as a way to distract my brain from the slow passage of time.

Okay, disclaimer time.
I was in an advanced English in high school so while the rest of the kids in my grade were reading novels and classic literature, I was reading poetry.
There are several great classics that I have not read because of this.
I first read The Hobbit when I was in the 8th grade as well as Great Expectations by Charles Dickens (which is really difficult for a fifteen year old to understand).

Any-who, I made it my mission along with my future library to read all of the classics that I did not read in grade school.

I started out with The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger because I always remember seeing a poster for the book in the hallway at school.
My main goal was to read these books and hopefully understand why they were considered classics.
The Catcher in the Rye was definitely nothing like I had read in the past and considering when it was written and the style in which he used, I can understand why it is considered a classic.
Will I ever read it again?
I don't know, but I still have the book just in case I get the urge to reread it.

I keep all of my books.
Not all of the textbooks, naturally, only the ones that I felt were really interesting or well written.
I have kept my History, Art, Government, and Literature books. Each subject consisting of between 2-5 textbooks each.

Looks like I might have been right in my prediction of the cute guy in Psychology dropping out or flunking.
He did not show up for class on Monday or today (exam day).
That is unfortunate, but I have been there.
I never flunked a class but I did withdraw from more than I care to admit.

Woohoo! So far I have a 100% grade in my microbiology lab! Sweet!
I really hope I will get the grade for the microbiology exam tomorrow.

I got a 91% on my Nutrition exam!!! Wonderbar!!!!
I am a happy girl.
I wish I could learn the grades on the other two this quickly.
Oh well, patience is a virtue, right?

Valentine's Day is tomorrow.
Awesome for couples and loved ones.
I sent a dozen roses to my Grandmother so she knows how much I appreciate her.

Here is a flower for you, who ever you are.

Found my old iPod this morning...

So I am going to download iTunes so that I can use it (hopefully in my car).
I have a USB port in my car but it does not recognize the other old MP3 player that I have.

I normally do not like Apple products and I can say that because I have owned them.
I loved them but will probably never purchase another one.
I have a friend in Dallas who is an Apple through and through. She even works for Apple as a Genus.

I totally had this song stuck in my head a little while ago.

Worrisome...

That moment after you wake up from a presumably good night sleep only to find that your body feels weak and as if it were floating instead of walking.

This is how I feel most mornings lately.

Coffee and a hot shower usually make me feel better though, sometimes food.
I usually eat something starchy in the mornings to help soak up the stomach acids and souring food particles still in my stomach (part of my Gastroparesis issue).

Currently my choices for breakfast are the following:

- Toast or Thin Bagel with butter, peanut butter or almond butter
- Toaster oven Waffles (no syrup)
- Cream of Wheat (Brown sugar flavor Or plain with some kind of flavor added, usually chocolate)

During the weekend we usually have:

- Biscuits and gravy
- Omelets or scrambled eggs

Plus the ever present coffee.
My family and I are pretty big coffee drinkers in the mornings, I usually continue on into to the day a bit but not too much.

Coffee from my funeral home days, I bought this mug at Michael's for one dollar.

Study time...

So I am in the process of rewriting my class notes from psychology.
Why the hell am I doing this?
Because the professor will give bonus points at the end of the semester if you have awesome class notes.
I want those bonus points.
I am bad at spelling, especially when I am in a rush and trying to write a bunch of stuff that is coming out of a person's mouth at a million miles a hour. So I am rewriting my notes so I can fix those words and then also try to make sense of what I wrote.
The only reason I am writing this blog is because I needed to look up who Carl Rogers was and why my professor mentioned him but was interrupted and sidetracked before she could tell us Why she mentioned him.
Joy.

I hate these words:
Affect and Effect.
I always seem to forget which word would be more appropriate for my sentences.

"Without Failure, you will never truly know Success"
My professor said that after explaining why it was important for researchers to publish their findings even when the hypothesis was proven wrong.
I thoroughly agree with this statement.
Mainly because I feel that I have experienced a good share of failures so far in my life and that allows me to see my successes as well.

I also think the cute guy who sits next to me is going to either drop the class or fail the class. I could be wrong, maybe he is one of those people that only has to listen to the lecture to be able to pass the tests but I don't know.

I also think he is under 20 years old, which rules him out in my mind as a possible date candidate.
I would rather not date any man younger than me by a year or older by five years.
That last guy I attempted to date was ridiculous.

Guys, don't lie about your age.
Especially when you are twice the age of the girl you are interested in.
Not only is it creepy it is also deceitful and no girl wants to feel like they just got duped into having feelings for someone twice their age.

I love the word laboratory.
I always think of the cartoon Dexter's Laboratory and I say it in my head the way he did to spell it correctly on my paper.
"DeeDee! Get out of my la-bor-a-tory!"
Good clean cartoon fun.
The cartoons they have now are just plain creepy, strange and disturbing in some cases.
I decided a long time ago that I did not want my kids watching the kind of cartoons that are on tv nowadays, if at all.

My professor mentioned the Tuskegee syphilis experiment to the class and was surprised that no one seemed to know about it.
I thought to myself, "most of the students are straight out of high school in this class and are too young to know about that experiment (which lasted for a few decades)."
Granted I only know about it because my Sociology teacher brought it up last semester, so I can't really pretend to be any better then these other kids.

Man, I think my brain is good for tonight...
I will do my nutrition studying tomorrow on my lunch break between classes.
I think I will go to bed early and hopefully get some good sleep...
I might even take a benadryl to help me along...

What the hell...

Why does my hand smell like I have been smoking cigarettes??
I don't get it.
I have not smoked since I lived in Texas, and it was always preceded by a bad encounter with the office douche bag.
hmmm... I noticed it when I started to take my microbiology test this morning. I know the woman behind me smokes but I did not touch her and only my hand smells.
This is weird.
I wonder if I some how blacked out in my exhaustion, bought a pack and smoked them between the time I left the microbiology lab to when I walked into the classroom for lecture.
... oh well.
I need to take some aspirin and get cracking on my psychology and nutrition notes.
Those tests are tomorrow.
I am going to sleep so freaking good this weekend.
Until then, it's time for coffee.

Look Ma!

It's a TURTLE!!!!!

Books...

I like books.
I actually love books.
I plan to one day have a library in my home full of all kinds of books for any reader.
I have biographies, fiction, nonfiction, children's books, textbooks, books on hobbies and crafts, young adult, classic literature, poetry, etc.
I am also one of those annoying people who is reading more than one book at any given time. I also do not have to start over a book if I have put it down, I can pick up right where I left off.
One time I attempted to tell someone all of the books I was reading... they did not believe me.

Right now I am currently reading:

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
Dune by Frank Herbert
Idylls of the King by Lord Alfred Tennyson (Currently in my purse)
1984 by George Orwell (Currently in my purse)
Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind
Her Little Majesty by Carolly Erickson
Invictus by John Carlin
Roosevelts and the Royals by Will Swift

Not including the textbooks I am reading for psychology, nutrition, and microbiology. Plus my algebra textbook, but I don't really think that one counts...

I recently finished reading: (as in two days ago)
Cemetery Dance by Preston & Child

Book stores are my toy stores.
It is very difficult for me to leave a bookstore with only one book.
Last week I went to a book store to purchase a book stand so that I could look through my textbooks and take notes without straining my neck.
If I had been alone then I would have purchased at least one book, but lucky for me (I guess) I had someone there to keep me on the wagon (so to speak).
My nephew is only 2 months old and I am already itching to buy coloring books, learning books, story books, etc. for him.
Now that I think about it... the first gift I purchased for my ex-husband was a book. A volume of Calvin and Hobbs on our first date. Good memories.

Surprisingly enough, I don't have any pictures showing off my books, either.
Hmm...

Coffee...

I like coffee.
I did not like coffee in the past, I only acquired a taste for in within the last 6 years.
I have started a motley coffee mug collection.
One of these days I need to take a picture of all of my coffee mugs together...
One of these days.
Until then I will just post a mug that I wish I had, along with the coffee in it.
I will admit that I would rather have Waffle House over IHOP any day.
So many good memories from both establishments but I think I like the general atmosphere of Waffle House better.

I recently purchased a Keurig machine and I love it.
I will not drink a whole pot of coffee so I always felt that I was wasting the coffee and the water (even with the smaller coffee pots). I have wanted a Keurig for a while now but I could not find a valid justification for spending the money.
Then I started school and figured that I did not want to go into the kitchen and brew a pot of coffee and end up only drinking one cup.
Now I don't have to worry about that AND Keurig has a "K-Cup" mini coffee filter that I can put my own coffee grounds in instead of buying the individual K-cups. Bonus!

In the last few years I have become much more selective as to how and what I spend my money on.
Money is not overly important to me. I would rather give it to someone who needs it then spend it on something trivial for myself.
At the same time, though, when I spend my money I want to know that I am spending it wisely and on good quality products.

Now on to another topic.

The Object of my Affection

Sweet boy.

Those kind of Days...

Everyone has them.
One of "those" days.
I spent the last three and a half days studying for three exams.
Microbiology.
Psychology.
Nutrition.
I have found it interesting that all three of these subjects cover some of the same topics, but not in the same way. I also found it interesting whenever I would come across some information that will be useful when I start my degree classes (Dental Hygiene), as well as little tidbits that might help me better understand my chronic illness (Gastroparesis). 
Psychology is helping me attempt to understand the effects my illness has had on my behavior and personality.
What is really fun about all of this is that I have only been in these classes for 6 weeks.
The whole semester lasts 16 weeks. 
These exams I have been studying for are the first ones for these classes.
I have put a lot of pressure on myself to get good grades in these classes. I am fortunate to have my education paid for by a relative (who doesn't think I will do well) and family that has taken me in after a divorce.
The divorce.
I never in my life thought I would be a divorced women.
Yes, I initiated the proceedings because I felt that my life would not go any further than it had and that you should not stay in a relationship where you feel unloved or unappreciated.
I still love my ex-husband, very much, and I still tear up when I think about him. I still feel a hole in my chest when I think about his voice, his embrace, his little quirks that made him annoyingly lovable.
I still worry that I will never find another man, that I will never find another best friend to share my life with.
I am so mentally exhausted from studying that all of these emotions, that I try to keep a tight hold of, have spilled out into my every thought today.
I had one of those days.
His birthday is this month. Valentine's is this month.
I have seen so many little gifts and funny cards that I instinctively picked up and thought to myself, "oh he would love this!" and I had to force myself to put them down and walk away.
I so badly want to call him and tell him what I have learned in class and how I have been able to make myself healthier.
I ordered flowers to be sent to his mother and little sister for Valentine's day.
I hope they like them. I am supposed to be his little sister's Godmother and she is such a sweet child.
She was the closest thing we had to a child of our own and she has a very special place in my heart.
My nephew was born in December and I can't help but dote on him. I have very few feelings towards my brother but I will love this little boy and maybe that will help me get through all of this.

Today felt like a weird roller coaster. Not too many highs and lows but just enough to throw me off balance.
Maybe tonight I can get some decent sleep.
Hopefully.